Letting Go

When I first felt the Lord pulling me to Africa, I jumped on the organized mission trip bandwagon. I searched for mission teams through local churches and organizations, and filled out applications for every trip to an African country that I could find. I just expected for God to open and close doors, and make a way for me to get where he wanted me... And he did. Buckner International (check them out- http://www.buckner.org/) offers a really cool opportunity for college students to be summer interns through their "It's Your Mission: Abandon" program. Over time, Buckner's trip to Kenya became first on my list. I was pretty set on going, although I knew deep down that I was rushing and not seeking the Lord in the way I should. I was pretty uneasy about making the trip, but I was so set on getting to Africa. I contacted one of the elders at my church and asked to meet with him to discuss things. I wanted to make sure that I had support from the church- spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. I had no idea that the Spirit was about to move in me and completely change my heart.

Scot reassured me that the church would most definitely be my support community in the time leading up to the trip, and while I was in Africa. But then he challenged me to let go of the idea of an organized mission trip; Scot told me that he felt led to tell me about Bethany Village, Uganda. He informed me that the church already felt connected to Bethany Village (a college student in the church was there serving at the time, and one of the families in the church desired to adopt from there), and that my time there would deepen the relationship between Community Church and Uganda. But taking this trip posed new challenges; It meant starting over fresh on my own. It meant filling out more applications and then hoping God would raise up a team to go with me. It meant no structure, no organization, and no preparation. It meant I had to fully trust God, get on a plane, and go. Was I ready to trust?

I didn't know what to think at that point. As I left, I began to search my mind, trying to figure out how in the world I was going to make that work. I spent a couple days trying to avoid thinking about Africa. I was stressed, and I didn't feel like my attitude toward the opportunity that God had provided me with was healthy. So I began to pray about what to do regarding my invitation to go to Kenya. A few days later, I emailed the directors at Buckner International and asked them to remove my application to be a summer intern in Kenya. I was nervous and scared, and afraid it would be a mistake. Clearly, I was doubting the Lord's ability to take care of me. But after I sent the email, I finally felt relief. I felt complete reassurance and hope. Finally, I was able to confidently say that I knew the Lord was going to provide.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

There is still more to this story, but there is one thing that hasn't changed- Psalm 4:7. Jesus, "You have put more joy in my heart than when grain and wine abound..."